Leaving a company is very similar to a break-up.
After many years together investing time, effort, sweat and tears your journey together ends. You share ups and downs, precious memories good and bad. You share a mission, in my case it was improving the health and wellbeing of customers, a mission I truly cared about. When I joined the company, there were about fifty people in the office in Dubai. There was such a buzz. The growth numbers year on year were phenomenal, unlike anything I’d ever seen. My manager was a bright young star, newly promoted and full of enthusiasm. She was my first female manager in my then ten-year long career. She was younger and less qualified than I. She was amazing, one of the best managers I have ever had. Shoutout to all the empowering females empowering other females.
Last Thursday was my last official day of employment after six years with the company. I am the latest to join the #greatresignation
Don’t quit your job without another job lined up!”
This has always been my mindset too. After fifteen relentless years in the corporate world, it is strangely freeing to be so completely untethered. Resigning from a job without another offer firmly in hand is beyond my wildest dreams.
Before you jump in to join me in my magical unemployed state, I should explain the events leading up to my decision.
My resignation was preceded by a nine-month unpaid sabbatical, following the loss of both my parents during the pandemic. They passed within ten months of each other, my father in June 2020 and my mother in April 2021.
No, I have not been able to afford this break from my inheritance, contrary to popular belief. In fact, I’ve been using my own savings on medical care for my mother before she passed and ongoing management of my father’s estate to date.
My father was a self-made, successful lawyer. He was one of those blessed souls who lived and breathed his profession. He loved his work and could not understand why anyone would need a holiday.
“How aimless are these people, don’t they have anything better to do?” he’d comment with a mixture of bewilderment and irritation when passing a group of merry holidaymakers.
Growing up, I would wake up to him having left the house before dawn and he’d return home late at night. Only on Sunday mornings, he would sleep in. Even then, he would beat himself up about it. He was absolutely, completely absorbed in his work.
He was seventy-four years old when he passed. He was in his law firm on his very last day.
I grew up learning to work for what I wanted. Twelve-year old Ash who wanted that cool new pair of Vans shoes needed to save up for those shoes. She wouldn’t just receive it if she asked. In the same way, I am having to work for my inheritance. The wealth my father built up is tied in a bundle of Covid and legal complications, well beyond reach.
And that’s absolutely fine because I have built up my own wealth, thanks to the work ethic instilled in me by my father. Many years of waking up before dawn to study for professional exams before work. Volunteering for more work and grasping every opportunity always led to long hours at the office. Working from home on weekends at times, I would be so focused on my work I wouldn’t notice the sun setting, looking up at surprise at the sudden darkness around me.
“Anything can be interesting if you really study it, do you know my friend did a PhD in prawns? Can you believe that?!”
My father was so tickled by his friend who studied prawns for years but used it as an example of how important it is to be interested in your own career, no matter what it was. He was a thinker and had a brilliant mind. One of the national newspapers published an article of him when he passed, acknowledging his contribution to the legal profession.
Perhaps my true inheritance from my father is knowing the value of a strong work ethic and pure focus. To keep learning and achieving.
This was all I knew until I met my boyfriend a few years ago.
He is Scandinavian which can be defined as the complete opposite of an Asian. More so an Asian who has migrated multiple times in search of a better life. My grandparents migrated for a better life so even generationally, we have had to prove ourselves time and time again. It is literally in my blood.
What a gift it must be to be so secure in yourself, with your family and your country. On having multiple safety nets in case you fail. When I spent time with his family last summer, I was not allowed to even wash the dishes.
“Rest, this is your holiday” his parents said kindly. I was gob smacked.
During my sabbatical, I began to learn to rest. Of course, this was between bouts of panic over my unproductivity. My lack of contribution to society. So I clutched at my passion for yoga.
Let’s rewind to a few years ago… I’d enrolled onto a yoga teacher training course with the intention of learning more about yoga. For eleven weekends, I went to “yoga school” while working full time. I had expected to be more stressed with work given I could not work on weekends during this time. On the contrary, I became more efficient and productive during the week. What I learnt on weekends, specifically in yoga philosophy I put into practice in the corporate environment. I was more in tune with myself, aware of my own actions, how I responded to others and felt calmer in myself. All of these are valuable tools in the corporate world especially in middle management where I was.
When Covid hit, I taught after work in my community and colleagues over Zoom. When I lost both my parents, gripped with grief, I was still able to function and deliver work commitments. I did not fall apart despite dire circumstances.
Perhaps it was my upbringing where you simply carried on, no matter what. The world could be crumbling around you, but you carried on. There was never, ever an option to fail. When I left home for university in a foreign country and then stayed on to work, coming home was not an option. We were a minority in my place of birth where equal opportunities did not exist. My father foresaw the decline in my home country, so he urged us to build our lives in England.
The colour of my skin didn’t matter in England as long as I worked hard. I progressed in my career and made the most of the opportunities I had. People were mostly kind and fair, I have much to be grateful for but it was not always easy adapting to a new culture and making a new life without much support.
Perhaps it is resilience built up over time due to a lack of choice or my yogic learnings which continues to see me through times of adversity.
It was only natural that when I had a chance to pause from the corporate world that I spent more time exploring yoga which has been my anchor for the last decade, through my mum’s illness, broken relationships, work stress, you name it. I’d find myself on my mat, being soothed by a yoga teachers voice telling me to be kind to myself, telling me that this too shall pass and nodding kindly at me with encouragement if she saw me struggle with a pose.
Coming back to my sabbatical, the manic voice in my head would pipe up in between periods of rest:
“I’ll teach yoga! I’ll help people to rest!!! I’ll help people with their grief as I work through mine.. I’ll create a website, I’ll create yoga products, I’ll write a book, I’ll help other yoga teachers with their websites…” the list went on and on.
As we learn in the yoga world, thoughts come and go. We are not our thoughts. I am learning to be the observer of my thoughts and to be less reactive. I took each day and each project as it came.
I delved deep into the subject of yoga, earning certifications in yin yoga, mindful trauma informed yoga, reiki and completing a ten-day silent meditation experience (vipassana). I created my website for under AED 300 (USD 80) on which I’m sharing this blog post. I taught in my community, at offices, in studios and at private villas. All of these topics deserve their own blog posts so I won’t bore you with the details…. just yet.
I traveled last summer and plan to do so again this coming summer. Taking one-way flights and only planning a few weeks sometimes even a few days in advance.
As much as I love traveling, my happiest days are the peaceful, restful days at home. The spontaneous long walks, mid-day coffees and trips to the beach.
Apart from the days I’m scheduled to teach or show up somewhere, I sleep without an alarm and wake up when I felt rested. Sometimes I’m up before dawn, sometimes I sleep past eight or nine in the morning. I treasure the warm cup of morning coffee in my hands, nestling into the sofa, gazing out over the horizon. Most of the time my heart is filled with gratitude for having this precious pause in life.
One of the main things I learned during the silent meditation retreat was the law of impermanence. Nothing lasts forever, not the good times, not the bad times. It is both a blessing and a curse.
I don’t know how long this pause will last but I am determined to enjoy every single minute of it.
If you’re thinking of joining the #greatresignation it may be helpful to begin with a sabbatical, given the option as it gives you time to take a step back and assess your current situation without severing ties. Be prepared that your job may not be there when you return so financial security is key.
Take a serious look at your finances. Consult a finance specialist if you’re not great with numbers. Have more than enough savings, money goes out quicker than you realize. If you have a side hustle, try to get it off the ground before you resign. Having an income no matter how small helps, it slows down the rate of which your savings decline. If you have a passive income even better.
Make a few lifestyle tweaks. With more time, you may be able to drop that expensive gym membership since you have all the time in the world to go on long walks, runs, join community classes which often costs less, free trials, explore YouTube workouts, free trials, take that Classpass class which costs less at non peak times etc. Reducing your outgo effectively prolongs your time off.
If you’re at a point in your life where you’d like to take a break and have the financial freedom to do so, I can’t recommend it enough. Your mind, body and soul will thank you for it.
Yes you may lose out on earned income and career opportunities but if you use your time wisely, you’ll have a chance to rest, to explore all those topics you were curious about, spend time with loved ones, travel and to simply be. That in itself, is the most precious gift.
Have you also taken a sabbatical or resigned? What has been your experience so far. If you haven’t and would like to, what’s holding you back. I’d love to hear from you in the comments below.